Dear Journal,

Today, I found three places in New York that I hope I never find again.  They are the following:

1. Starbucks — 6th Ave & Waverly Place.  I stopped in here today to wait for a friend who was running a bit behind schedule.  I ordered a sweetened iced coffee.  I was asked if I would like room for milk, and I said “no.”  When my name was called, I found an iced coffee with room waiting for me at the end of the bar.  The caraf of half and half (I like just a splash—no need for room) was empty.  I had the barista top off my coffee and get some more half and half.  I took a sip—it was unsweetened.  Basically, they did the opposite of everything that I asked.

2. Pho 32 & Shabu — St. Mark’s, between 3rd & 2nd Ave.  For starters, when my friend asked the waiter if they had egg noodles instead of rice noodles, his response was, “What’s that?” *side eye*  The food was pretty decent, but the booth was capped with a giant slab of wood that left barely any room to slide out.  By the time we’d finished eating, I had forgotten this detail and slammed my knee into it so hard that it is still stiff and throbbing almost an hour later.

3. Ninth Street Espresso — 9th Street & Avenue C.  Come here for the most pretentious coffee you’ve ever had in your life, served by a miserable barista in a stupid beanie hat, in a coffee shop with no working outlets.  Cash only.

^ Ninth Street Espresso